Content note: This project discusses emotional abuse, manipulation, coercive control, consent violations, unsafe sexual practices, addiction, and relationship trauma. Descriptions are not graphic.
This is the story of serious harm that occurred through deception and coercive control, often in plain sight.
Serious risks to physical safety, sexual health, bodily autonomy, and emotional wellbeing arose because Violet was repeatedly required to make consequential decisions without information necessary for informed consent. For more than a year, critical facts were withheld, delayed, fragmented, or revealed only after important choices had already been made, leaving her unable to fully understand the risks she was accepting or the realities she was navigating.
As new information emerged, events that had once seemed intimate, consensual, adventurous, caring, confusing, or merely imperfect acquired entirely different significance. Experiences involving identity concealment, undisclosed relationships, sexual-health risks, BDSM practices, alcohol-related conduct, criminal charges, and unsafe situations gradually revealed themselves not as isolated incidents, but as interconnected parts of a larger pattern. The key actions and incidents summarized below document those patterns and form the foundation of a broader examination of consent, transparency, accountability, personal agency, and the profound consequences of discovering too late that the reality you believed you were navigating was never the complete reality at all.
Jack Stallings: Key Actions and Incidents
Deception 🎭
⏵Identity Concealment
Jack used the name “Jack Stallings” across multiple areas of his life, not merely as a pen name, and did not disclose that his real first name was Jerry until after their third date, when it was revealed accidentally.
⏵Deliberate Omissions
Jack repeatedly withheld material information until after Violet had made decisions that information could have affected, and later characterized his conduct as having “omitted things” rather than lied.
Consent Violations and Sexual Risk 🚫
⏵Non-Consensual Sexual Contact
Jack pushed sexual contact after Violet had told him she was not ready for sex, including attempting oral sex without permission and continuing until she physically stopped him.
⏵Sex Without Prior Risk Discussion
Jack had condomless intercourse and ejaculated inside Violet without first discussing contraception, STI status or testing, other sexual partners, barriers, or internal ejaculation, and he continued sexual activity without adequately revisiting those risks as circumstances changed.
⏵Disregard of Sexual Boundaries
Jack repeatedly pushed sexual activity beyond what Violet had agreed to, beginning before she was ready for sex and continuing throughout the relationship by treating her desire for, or consent to, some sexual activity as permission to advance other acts and conditions without prior agreement.
BDSM Consent and Safety 🪢
⏵Absence of Informed Consent
Jack introduced and escalated BDSM without giving Violet the information she needed to understand the nature, scope, or risks of what she was consenting to, leaving her without a clear understanding of what she was agreeing to either before an encounter or, at times, while it was happening.
⏵Absence of Negotiation
Jack disregarded his responsibility to negotiate before each BDSM scene and, across months of repeated BDSM activity, never established with Violet which activities she was consenting to, what limits she had, what level of intensity she was comfortable with, what risks were involved, or how either person could pause or stop what was happening.
⏵Failure of Restraint Safety and Monitoring
Jack blatantly disregarded his responsibility for Violet’s safety during rope bondage by leaving her tied and unsupervised on multiple occasions; he never discussed strategies to reduce the risk of serious physical injuries inherent when restraining someone with rope, and he failed to negotiate any basic, critical decisions around expectations, desires, consent limits, communication or aftercare.
⏵Failure to Negotiate Pain and Marking
Jack violated basic BDSM standards of negotiation, consent, and care by causing significant pain and bruising without first establishing what Violet consented to regarding intensity or marks, then failing to acknowledge the injuries, check on her condition, or follow up afterward.
Alcohol, Legal, and Child Safety 🚨
⏵DWI With 0.18 Breath-Alcohol Result and Child Present
Jack drove with his child in the vehicle in November of 2024 while impaired; court records document a 0.18 breath-alcohol result and a pending DWI charge arising from the incident.
⏵Multiple Pending Criminal Charges
Jack faces pending charges arising from the same incident for DWI, assault on a government official, misdemeanor child abuse, resisting a public officer, reckless driving, failure to obey a traffic officer, failure to maintain lane control, and alcohol-related and seat-belt violations.
⏵Alcohol Relapse and Job Loss
By August 2025, Jack had resumed drinking, and by September Violet saw him intoxicated and learned that he had already been out of work for some time, after a long period in which he had presented himself as sober and engaged in recovery.
⏵Alcohol Use During Overnight Child Custody
Jack drank alcohol while his child was staying overnight in his home, despite a custody agreement that prohibited him from drinking during that custody time.
⏵Unsafe Home Environment
Jack invited multiple people to stay in his home when he was having regular overnight custody visits, including someone with a history of drug use and criminal activity. Marijuana use was routine and alcohol present on multiple occasions; Jack invited Violet over to engage in BDSM without disclosing that a stranger would be present in the home.
Unethical Non-Monogamy 🔍
⏵Unethical Behavior
While using the language of ethical non-monogamy with some partners, this framework was not provided to Violet and Jack continuously violated all of the core principles that ethical non-monogamy requires: informed consent, honesty, respect, communication, autonomy, and accountability.
⏵Refusal of Accountability
Jack responded to Violet’s concerns about deception by reframing them as misunderstandings about exclusivity, describing his conduct as having “omitted things,” and avoiding direct accountability for withholding information that materially affected her choices.
⏵Failure of Informed Consent and Ongoing Disclosure
Jack withheld multiple other relationships from Violet from the beginning, disclosed only one partner after they had already had sex, and did not disclose additional longtime as well as newer partners for more than a year; even then, the information he provided remained partial.
⏵Violation of Relationship Agreements
Jack explicitly agreed that he and Violet would disclose sex with other people even though he was already withholding extensive information about his other relationships and sexual activity, then continued violating that agreement while Violet honored it herself.
⏵Disregard for Sexual Health and Transparency
Jack continued having condomless sex with Violet, including internal ejaculation, while withholding information about other sexual partners and without providing the updated sexual-health information she needed to assess changing STI and exposure risks.
⏵Information Control
Jack selectively disclosed different information to different partners, encouraging openness among some while keeping other relationships compartmentalized, so the apparent transparency within parts of his network did not reflect the full reality of his relationships or conduct.